Warning the following post may be triggering so please read carefully x
Jessica here, with a different type of post today. Wednesday 10th October was World Mental Health Day, and as someone who has unfortunately suffered from a lot of issues; I felt like I wanted to do my part to give some advice on how I stay happy and relaxed. Please note I am in no way a qualified counsellor and don't think that I have found the 'cure for happiness'. These are just methods I have been taught over the countless years I've been undergoing counselling/ CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and techniques that work for me.
Count 5 things in the morning that make you happy
One of my CBT techniques I was taught to try and bring my mood back up was to count 5 things that make me happy/ are positives. I still find this difficult now, however with practice it becomes easier. These 5 things do not have to be long winded or complicated, they could be as simple as "the weather is quite sunny and warm". I used to always roll my eyes when told about this technique, but it definitely makes a difference and has lots of research to back it up as a proven method that works.
Go get physical
When I'm having a bad day, one of the worst things I find for me is staying in bed. It's so cliche but exercise has so much evidence to prove it improves your mental wellness/ mood (due to the release of endorphins and all that jazz). Join a sports club or a gym class and go be active - or even just go for a walk outside in the fresh air.
Do something nice for yourself
There's a reason films and books always talk about the stereotypical pamper nights with a hot bubbly bath and face mask.. it works! Go do something that makes you feel good about yourself. For example, I feel so relaxed and happy after having my hair done, or buying a Lush bath bomb and having a long soak in the bath. Take some time for yourself and just clear your head. Everyone's so busy nowadays keeping up with the fast pace that we forget to have some me time.
Book things for you to look forward to
When my mood was "very low", to my surprise my counsellor planned a schedule with my mom to plan some days out/ activities in the future so I had something to look forward to. Whilst this might seem obvious, the technique is recommended by several CBT counsellors because it's a constant reminder of things to look forward to, and I love downloading countdown apps on my phone to get excited counting down the days.
Try and be organised
Again, I must stress that this works for me and I'm not saying it will help everyone, but hopefully it will work for someone else. I tend to feel a lot better when I'm organised. Ways I try to do this is by writing lots of lists - for example shopping or to do lists - so I don't have to worry about forgetting later or remembering everything. Similarly, another CBT technique is if you are having difficulty sleeping because you're trying to remember multiple things or have a lot of thoughts whizzing round, write them down and you instantly feel more relaxed and happier.
Surround yourself with positive people
It's such a shame how many of us nowadays have experienced toxic friendships, however it is something that happens and can happen to the best of us. Again, I feel like deep down you know yourself whether it is a toxic friendship e.g. when they always put you down and second guess yourself. Friends are supposed to be there to support you not make you feel crap about yourself. I'd personally recommend to speak to the friend first, as they might not be aware how they're making you feel. That being said, if they are a true friend, they'd try to change their attitudes.
Unfortunately, I've had friendships where the person wouldn't stop putting me down and I had to sadly break that friendship. It was horrible and I still miss them however I still stand by my decision as now I feel like a weight is off my shoulders and I have amazing friends who really care about me. (I'm not saying every time you argue with someone break friends, it is normal to argue occasionally).
My final and most important point
I wanted this to be my last point because the biggest advice I'd want you to take from this post is IF YOU'RE HAVING AN EXTREMELY "LOW DAY" AS I NICKNAME THEM, DO NOT BE BY YOURSELF. You yourself know when you're having a low day as it's crippling, and takes every ounce of energy both mentally and physically for myself anyway to get through them. When you're feeling like this, please force yourself to get out of the house or go visit a friend/partner, no matter how hard it is to see someone. The last thing you need is to be alone when feeling like this, even if you ask someone to come over and you just sit in silence which I've done in the past.
I wanted to share this advice to raise awareness that it's ok not to be 'ok' all the time and 1 in 4 people will be affected by mental disorders. Please follow the link for a directory of Mental Health helplines.
Love, The Hamptons x
